See Yourself Truthfully

See Yourself Truthfully by HENRY J.M. NOUWEN

You continue struggling to see your own truth. When people who know your heart well and love you dearly say that you are a child of God, that God has entered deeply into your being, and that you are offering much of God to others, you hear these statements as pep talks. You don't believe that these people are really seeing what they are saying.

You have to start seeing yourself as your truthful friends see you. As long as you remain blind to your own truth, you keep putting yourself down and referring to everyone else as better, holier, and more loved than you are. You look up to everyone in whom you see goodness, beauty, and love because you do not see any of these qualities in yourself. As a result, you begin leaning on others without realizing that you have everything you need to stand on your own feet.

You cannot force things, however. You cannot make yourself see what others see. You cannot fully claim yourself when parts of you are still wayward. You have to acknowledge where you are and affirm that place. You have to be willing to live your loneliness, your incompleteness, your lack of total incarnation fearlessly, and trust that God will give you the people to keep showing you the truth of who you are.

看不到別人比較可怕，還是看不透別人比較可怕?

很多時候我們花很多時間聽別人講述自己需要聽的信念、知識、方法、激勵、優缺點、獎勵、懲罰... 但我們似乎沒有真實地看到自己。 自己在哪裡?孤獨在哪裡?以及自己的不完美在哪裡? 相信神會給我們這樣的朋友讓我們真正地認識自己!

小謀老師曾問我們當引導員帶活動問題反思時，可以接受團隊多久沉默的時間來思考? 可怕的不是沒有信念分享，而應該害怕的是分享出來的竟然不是自己!

Understand the Limitations of Others

Understand the Limitations of Others by HENRY J.M. NOUWEN

"You keep listening to those who seem to reject you. But they never speak about you. They speak about their own limitations. They confess their poverty in the face of your needs and desires. They simply ask for your compassion. They do not say that you are bad, ugly, or despicable. They say only that you are asking for something they cannot give and that they need to get some distance from you to survive emotionally. The sadness is that you perceive their necessary withdrawal as a rejection of you instead of as a call to return home and discover there your true belovedness.

最難的都不是由世界(別人)來的，是如何在乎自己? 而戰勝自己就是去

學習自己不會的知識；
接受心裡不舒服的批評；
挑戰不可能的任務；
接觸不相往來的敵人；
以及愛身旁所有的人

有妖怪

有個老阿婆坐無線電計程車，司機接到客後馬上很專業地以無線電回報總台

"517、517，聽到請回答" (PS無線電517數字專業用語念"武邀拐" )

結果老阿婆在後座馬上拿隨身包包狠狠地往司機大哥頭 "海K" 下去，說，

您祖罵就是去給人家請，畫了點腮紅，說甚麼"有妖怪(台語)"~

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Come Home

Come Home by HENRY J.M. NOUWEN

There are two realities to which you must cling. First, God has promised that you will receive the love you have been searching for. And second, God is faithful to that promise.

So stop wandering around. Instead, come home and trust that God will bring you what you need. Your whole life you have been running about, seeking the love you desire. Now it is time to end that search. Trust that God will give you that all-fulfilling love and will give it in a human way. Before you die, God will offer you the deepest satisfaction you can desire. Just stop running and start trusting and receiving.

Home is where you are truly safe. It is where you can receive what you desire. You need human hands to hold you there so you don’t run away again. But when you come home and stay home, you will find the love that will bring rest to your heart.

Rainbow出生在新疆，後來在浙江、上海長大，今天早上她搭機"回"台灣辦點事! Rainbow不在的這兩個禮拜，我想我才會很想"家"。

這些人都是存著信心死的，並沒有得著所應許的；卻從遠處望見，且歡喜迎接，又承認自己在世上是客旅，是寄居的。 說這樣話的人是表明自己要找一個家鄉。他們若想念所離開的家鄉，還有可以回去的機會。他們卻羨慕一個更美的家鄉，就是在天上的。所以神被稱為他們的神，並不以為恥，因為他已經給他們預備了一座城。

Give Gratuitously

Give Gratuitously by HENRY J.M. NOUWEN

Your love, insofar as it is from God, is permanent. You can claim the permanence of your love as a gift from God. And you can give that permanent love to others. When others stop loving you, you do not have to stop loving them. On a human level, changes might be necessary, but on the level of the divine, you can remain faithful to your love.

One day you will be free to give gratuitous love, a love that does not ask for anything in return. One day also you will be free to receive gratuitous love. Often love is offered to you, but you do not recognize it. You discard it because you are fixed on receiving it from the same person to whom you gave it.

The great paradox of love is that precisely when you have claimed yourself as God's beloved child, have set boundaries to your love, and thus contained your needs, you begin to grow into the freedom to give gratuitously.

如果有一天，你懂得自在地付出無私的愛，完全不求回報；那你也可以自在地接受那無私的愛，其實我們一直收到這樣的愛，只是我們不懂很簡單的答案原來就在我們身邊。

中國的古人早該說「已若所欲，多施於人」!

Set Boundaries to Your Love

Set Boundaries to Your Love by HENRY J.M. NOUWEN

When people show you their boundaries ('I cant do this for you'), you fed rejected. You cannot accept the fact that others are unable to do for you all that you expect from them. You desire boundless love, boundless care, boundless giving.

Part of your struggle is to set boundaries to your own love - something you have never done. You give whatever people ask of you, and when they ask for more, you give more, until you find yourself exhausted, used, and manipulated. Only when you are able to set your own boundaries will you be able to acknowledge, respect, and even be grateful for the boundaries of others.

In the presence of the people you love, your needs grow and grow, until those people are so overwhelmed by your needs that they are practically forced to leave you for their own survival.

The great task is to claim yourself for yourself, so that you can contain your needs within the boundaries of your self and hold them in the presence of those you love. True mutuality in love requires people who possess themselves and who can give to each other while holding on to their own identities. So, in order both to give more effectively and to be more self-contained with your needs, you must learn to set boundaries to your love.

畫下界線的確很重要，沒有界線如同沒有標準。因為各種原因，最近談了幾個員工離職案例，這是在所有的公司工作中，所有人最不喜歡的任務之一。但是，工作的本質就是希望透過員工發揮才能來換取團隊最大的利益，進而得到生活所需的報酬，如果管理者不能堅守標準地要求員工發揮應有的效率或才能，那也對已經在要求水準上的員工就太不公平了!

愛當然也需要界線，因為愛也是有標準。所以，80,90年後獨生長大的小弟弟妹妹們，真正的愛不是每個人都可以接受的，當你有標準地被要求與對待時。

Always Come Back to the Solid Place

Always Come Back to the Solid Place by HENRY J.M. NOUWEN

You must believe in the yes that comes back when you ask, 'Do. you love me?' You must choose this yes even when you do not experience it.

You feel overwhelmed by distractions, fantasies, the disturbing desire to throw yourself into the world of pleasure. But you know already that you will not find there an answer to your deepest question. Nor does the answer lie in rehashing old events, or in guilt or shame. All of that makes you dissipate yourself and, leave the rock on which your house is built.

You have to trust the place that is solid, the place where you cm say yes to God's love even when you do not fed it.

Right now you fed nothing except emptiness and the lack of strength to choose. But keep saying, 'God loves me, and God's lave is enough'. You have to choose the solid place over and over again and return to it after every failure.

總有一個地方是安全的，這種安全是非常享受的。"Solid Place"讓我聯想到"三隻小豬"的故事，在奢華的惡狼帶來的恐懼下，一個堅固地能讓內心充滿平安的職位、同事、團隊、公司都是令人感到幸福的。建造這樣的磚瓦房一定是辛苦的，但可以發揮才能、盡情流汗卻是值得的。

你的工作可以讓你有加高薪的升遷都還不想走嗎? 如果你是主管，建造這樣的團隊環境給你的部屬是你2009年最大的責任；如果你正處於這樣的掙扎，那得要問問在內心最深最深的自己，想定下來的那地方到底在哪裡?!

Cry inward

Cry inward by HENRY J.M. NOUWEN

A split between divinity and humanity has taken place in you. With your divinely endowed centre you know God's will, God's way, God's love. But your humanity is cut off from that. Your many human needs for affection, attention, and consolation are living apart from your divine sacred space. Your call is to let these two parts of yourself come together again.

You have to move gradually from crying outward - crying out for people who you think can fulfill your needs - to crying inward to the place where you can let yourself be held and carried by God, who has become incarnate in the humanity of those who love you in community. No one person can fulfill all your needs. But the community can truly hold you. The community can let you experience the fact that, beyond your anguish, there are human hands that hold you and show you God's faithful love.

我們家小寶貝Ruth，如同多數親子教養書中所講的，開始懂得用哭做為工具來威脅我和Rainbow，這不僅反映在生活必需的需求上，開始表現出來在情感上。在我早晨離開家去上班前，她已經開始會使用哭來希望得到能挽留住我多抱她個幾分鐘，又或許她心想能得到我能帶她一起出去的機會。不過，聽Rainbow說，等她確定我關上門後的兩分鐘內(這速度或許比我搭電梯到一樓還快?!)，多半會停止哭聲轉向她有興趣的玩具，或是吃手指玩頭髮尋求自我安慰。所以我覺得這其實算不得是種威脅，哭是無法言語的她表達內心需要的唯一方式!

很好奇，一個人成長過程是甚麼時候開始學習(或者是懂得)自我尋求安慰與鼓勵? 其實，生命的安排就是會有一群天使在我們身邊，可能是家人、朋友、兄長、或者是公司的老闆，你認為他們是派來管你的? 他們也可以是來幫助你的，如果你內心懂得需要幫助!

Trust the inner voice

Trust the inner voice by HENRY J.M. NOUWEN

Do you really want to be converted? Are you willing to be transformed? Or do you keep clutching your old ways of life with one hand while with the other you beg people to help you change?

Conversion is certainly not something you can bring about yourself. It is not a question of will-power. You have to trust the inner voice that shows the way. You know that inner voice. You turn to it often. But after you have heard with clarity what you are asked to do, you start raising questions, fabricating objections, and seeking everyone else's opinion. Thus you become entangled in countless often contradictory thoughts, feelings, and ideas and lose touch with the God in you. And you end up dependent on all the people you have gathered around you.

0nly by attending constantly to the inner voice can you be converted to a new life of freedom and joy.

今天公司一位主管級的同事來找我，針對他現在部門同事間的合作衝突想詢問我一些意見，我們談了幾乎一整個上午，很值得自誇的是我做到從頭到尾做到不給他針對性的答案。因為我打從剛開始的設定就是希望透過這樣的談話，可以讓他體會開始與他內心真正的自己對話的感覺。最後離開我辦公室時，他閃爍地眼神告訴我，他似乎察覺了某些心得。

我們喜歡跟同事開會，並且針對事情很快地給意見，尤其是稍具工作經驗的主管更是如此，但我們是否會找個時間與真實的自己喝杯茶、開開會、給點意見? 或許從求學時期開始，師長們總是灌輸給概念是等我們做錯事情時才需要這樣做，這叫反省；那沒做錯事時呢? 那更應該把自己好好地叫出來聊聊天吧! 要不然，可能長久下來，感性的右腦可能不認識理性的左腦!

Stop Being a Pleaser

Stop Being a Pleaser by HENRY J.M. NOUWEN

You have to let your father and father figures go. You must stop seeing yourself through their eyes and trying to make them proud of you.

For as long as you can remember, you have been a pleaser, depending on others to give you an identity. You need not look at that only in a negative way. You wanted t0 give your heart to others, and you did so quickly and easily. But now you are being asked to let go of all these self-made props and trust that God is enough for you. You must stop being a pleaser and reclaim your identity as a free self.

在任何階段，我們多會找一些"模範"當作成長階段的榜樣，這些模範會常常掛在我們的嘴邊，這些多半是我們熟悉、景仰的師長，或者是親近而且比較具領導氣質的同儕朋友。我們樂於去學習甚至是模仿其模式及風格。大部分的我們可以從這中學習到我們該成長的部分，但經歷某段學習的過程後，還是必須很快地走出屬於自己的風格與自信，不然就陷入英雄崇拜而缺乏個人思考的窘境。

身為一個部門的主管，越來越多的事務、專案以及不得不成功的權責壓力接踵而來，我面對的是越來越多的老闆(或者，越來越多人說他算是我老闆?!)，但相反的，我越來越堅信我面對的是對自我的真實而負責，絕不是單純只是滿足"人"的要求。

「人在最小的事上忠心，在大事上也忠心；在最小的事上不義，在大事上也不義。」路加福音16章10節

Cling to the Promise

Cling to the Promise by HENRY J.M. NOUWEN

Do not tell everyone your story. You will on1y end up feeling more rejected. People cannot give you what you long for in your heart. The more you expect from people's response to your experience of abandonment, the more you will feel exposed to ridicule.

You have to dose yourself to the outside world so you can enter your own heart and the heart of God through your pain. God will send to you the people with whom you can share your anguish, who can lead you doser to the true source of love.

God is faithful to God's promises. Before you die, you will find the acceptance and the love you crave. It will not come in the way you expect. It will not follow your needs and wishes. But it will fili your heart and satisfy your deepest desire. There is nothing to hold on to but this promise. Everything else has been taken away from you. Cling to that naked promise in faith. Your faith will heal you.

有人說台灣人比較含蓄和內斂，是這樣嗎? 我也比較不出來，但最近在與Rainbow看新聞聊天時恰巧談到，在中國，似乎越高層的管理階層(包含政治人物或商業領袖)越內斂。而在工作上，看了，也面試了一些中國年輕人，大多能說會道，但我懷疑，事實上的他(她)們...?
人在內心甚麼都沒有的空虛時，總喜歡裝飾點甚麼東西在身上，但無論多高貴的知識、職稱、華麗這些都是會過時、會消逝、甚至會被戳破。但當心中被滿足時隨之而來的自信心，其實用不著說就可以體現出來，世界上也沒有一種言語可以清楚定義與描述何謂"自信心"。 這份的滿足說穿了就是愛，慶幸的是，我還沒到死前就已經找到我的真愛。

Work Around Your Abyss

Work Around Your Abyss by HENRY J.M. NOUWEN

There is a deep hole in your being, like an abyss. You will never succeed in filling that hole, because your needs are inexhaustible. You have to work around it so that gradually the abyss doses.

Since the hole is so enormous and your anguish so deep, you will always be tempted to flee from it. There are two extremes to avoid: being completely absorbed in your pain and being distracted by so many things that you stay far away from the wound you want to heal.

人都以為自己很容易滿足，其實很難想像自己內心深處的那個洞有多大，也許大到沒有人可以想像。這個洞可以是個夢想，永遠往裡面填不滿，督促自己一再進步的夢想，聰明人說那是人類因夢想而偉大。也可能是個慾望，永遠無法滿足的慾望，人的一生就在夢想跟欲望中不斷追逐，可以認為是種痛苦，也可以是種多采多姿的生活!

能力有問題影響升遷，思維有問題影響生計

大部分大陸大學畢業的年輕人能力和衝勁是令人激賞的，這是和台灣最大不一樣的地方。但是高效能力和十足衝勁的背後，基本的"品格"似乎是企業裡人才培訓馬上要面對的課題。初看這則新聞標題，會以為這是一家不盡情理的公司，雖然處置的方式有所爭議，但仔細閱讀與觀察老董事長所關心的"思維問題"與年輕人事後"搬出老爸"的處置方式，其實就是下一階段中國面對人才選、育才的問題。不錯! 中國管理階層也正在一點一滴的進步!

電梯裡不甩董事長　江蘇年輕人被以「思維有問題」開除

更新日期:2009/01/29 13:15 記者陳奕廷／綜合報導

「世 事洞察皆學問、人情練達即文章」，這是中國清朝名著紅樓夢的一段話，卻是放在何時何處皆準的。在南京江蘇弘業國際集團期貨員，下班在電梯遇到集團大老闆， 因為不認得他，大老闆跟他打招呼，他不但沒回應，還瞄了一下，結果被老闆以「思維有問題」為由，開除了他，讓他做到今年二月底。

小張是南京人，今年24歲，南京財經大學本科畢業。去年11月10日進入中華路弘業大廈期貨公司就職，很快與公司簽了半年期的合同。他很開心，這年頭找個飯碗不容易，因此工作十分賣力。

去年12月中旬的一個周五，加了一會兒班，小張離開辦公室已是晚上7點多了。大廈電梯載著他開到12樓時，進來一位老人，面相和藹。小張不認識，但是老人卻先開口說「小夥子，你是哪個公司的？」，小張沒有搭裡，還瞟了對方一眼，沒開口。

老人有點不悅的問「你是哪個公司的？告訴我。」，小張才回答說「期貨公司的，有啥事情嗎？」

也就是這段對話，回到家後，小張接到經理的電話，才知道那是老人是他「領導的領導」，他心中非常忐忑。後來雖然經理去周旋，但是還是被罵得臭頭，最後，小張被下通牒，「你在公司沒發展空間了，會很被動。你考慮考慮，打個辭職報告，可以不來上班了，工資結算到2月份。」

結果，小張的父親還去找董事長道歉，老董回想起來還是很生氣，老董說：「我看他下班這麼晚，主動與他打招呼，本想表揚他幾句，沒想到他卻向我瞪眼睛。」，老董模仿起來，又說「問他話也不搭理。他的思維不正常，期貨行業對員工素質要求很高，他不適宜做期貨」。

所以，如果自己不懂得與人相處，老爸請出來去跟老董道歉，也是沒用，而小張今年不但過年不好過，過完年除了得要找工作外，也得學學自己如何與人應對進退。

Bible Talking: 心意更新而变化

Leading Question :
奶瓶、可樂瓶、酒瓶、鹽水瓶，你觉得哪一個瓶最符合你現在的生命？


就年齡的角度來思考，大部分的人都不喜歡選鹽水瓶，因為似乎"老"的同義詞!


Bring out The Main Theme :
（1）身体变老是不变的事实：但生命都仍却有希望， 可以很不同
林後4:16 所以我們不喪膽．外體雖然毀壞、內心卻一天新似一天。

（2） 神的道可让你心意更新而变化
「不要效法这个世界，只要心意更新而变化，

叫你们察验何为上帝的善. 良、纯全、可喜悦的旨意。」 （罗马书12 章2 节）.

（3） 因为圣经是神所默示的／两刃的剑。。。
『圣经都是神所默示的，于教训，督责，使人归正，教导人学义都是有益的，叫属神的人得以完全，预备行各样的善事』 ( 提摩太后书3:16,17)

希伯来书四章十二至十三节：『神的道是活泼的，是有功效的，比一切两刃的剑更快， ... 我们从圣经能彀看见说，惟有神的话有活泼的功效，能彀在我们里面分别灵与魂。 ...」

Closing Statement/Encouragement :

圣经里面有很多对生命的看法，好鼓励的。

如果你相信，里面每字每句都有改变人生命的力量。鼓励你们打开圣经去找对你有帮助的鼓励

中式官場文化

很多人常說中國大陸跟本是台灣進步的縮影，只不過晚了個20年，速度快個10倍。但硬體快速發展的同時，人心不見得跟得上這樣的節奏，於是在這裡依然可以輕易地發現很多在台灣幾乎已經消失的行為文化，這在大陸幾乎還是到處可見。 例如，吃大鍋飯心態，多做多錯，少做少錯，不做不錯...等。 最明顯的，在這樣快速成長的體制下，還有一個族群是主修"官式"專業，也就是抱著"領導"大腿往上爬的白領，這些人美其名為"心腹"或"得力助手"，但脫下亮麗的外衣，其實也不過是個空虛的繡花枕頭!

PS.這是我的一個客戶寄給我賀年，還好他只是我的客戶，不是我的下屬。

2009年，我们向领导保证：
领导的要求就是我们的追求；
领导的脾气就是我们的福气；
领导的鼓励就是我们的动力；
领导的想法就是我们的做法；
领导的酒量就是我们的胆量；
领导的表情就是我们的心情；
领导的嗜好就是我们的爱好；
领导的意向就是我们的方向；
领导的小蜜就是我们的秘密；
领导的情人就是我们的亲人！

我们还要做到：
1、 领导没来，我先来，看看谁坐主席台；
2、 领导没讲，我先讲，拍拍话筒响不响；
3、 领导说话，我鼓掌，带动台下一片响；
4、 领导吃饭，我先尝，看看饭菜凉不凉；
5、 领导睡觉，我站岗，跟谁睡觉我不讲！

Tips to Stay Young.

Tips to Stay Young & Happy Always :

1. Throw out nonessential numbers.
This includes age, weight, and height.
Let the doctors worry about them.. That is what you pay them for .

2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.
(Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)

3. Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.
Never let the brain get idle.
'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.'
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy the simple things

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with him or her!

6. The tears happen:
Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.
LIVE while you are alive.

7 Surround yourself with what you love:
Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it.
If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall, even to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

馬戲團特技演員對團隊的註解

你獨自表演的時候可以出差錯，因為你只為你一個人的命運買單。
但是和團隊共同演出時，你就不能犯任何一個錯誤。

<2008年11月華夏(國家)地理雜誌>

生平第一次星期六到公司加班

值得慶祝的一天？

因為今天是生平第一次星期六到公司加班！總得還是要感激這年頭還有工作可以做！

Google世代：只搜尋不思考？

Google Generation已經不是指幾年以後的年輕人，而是所有資訊化Email取代經由網路傳遞時代的每個辦公室上班族，陷入這樣模式變為"缺少耐心、持久性和衝動"，辦公室環境自然也會缺乏愛，這樣人外顯表現出來就是：

書讀太多，頭腦堵塞
會做事，但不會做人
為了工作有效率，不理會人際關係
甚麼事都講求白紙黑字，劍來劍往
這種人不在乎把辦公室變成戰場
簡單的一件事都喜歡email來email去，
CC來CC去，有電話也不打，見了面也不談，
因為沒有black & white的記錄太危險了，
萬一出了事沒得証明，
撞牆壁都沒人理你，
所以

CC: Cover Ca-chng (backside)
BCC: Better Cover Ca-chng (backside)




更新日期:2008/12/30 15:35 Yahoo！奇摩特約記者薛怡青綜合外電報導

大家口中的草莓族，現在有了新的稱法，國外有研究將這群在1993年以後出生的小孩稱為「Google世代」，在美國約有6100萬人，他們的養成過程幾乎都在網路上。「Google世代」在網路上玩遊戲、聊天和學習，甚至有時候同時做這三件事情。

刻板印象認為，前幾個世代主要通過書本和傳統的學習獲得知識，相較之下，Google世代的特點是缺少耐心、持久性和衝動。但是先前倫敦大學的研究破除了這個迷思，Google世代並不局限於年輕人，而是更廣泛的文化現象，年輕人相較於年長者，並不更需要一直連在網上，也不會比較沒耐心，至少在等候網頁下載及檔案刪除的時候。

因此這形成更迫切的社會議題，舉例來說，掌握了枝微末節或大量的資訊會不會妨礙我們的創意及獨立思考？唾手可得及自動產生的答案會不會阻礙了我們的整體認知能力？

根據長島大學教授Emily Walshe的研究，Google世代更偏好高度集中且容易摘要的資訊，而且我們已經習慣「強力搜尋」模式，快速瀏覽取代了閱讀的動作，網路使用者不分老少，都習慣只看網站的一兩頁（或者是整頁的一兩句），就跳出該網站。

在搜索和思考方面，前後文脈絡是非常重要的。Google搜索結果的排序，是根據衡量來自其它網頁鏈接的演算法，這基本上是一種6度分離的邏輯，但也同時讓資訊獨立於脈絡之外。久而久之，這種思考方式就容易形成「斷章取義」的後果。

「Google 世代」將內容普遍抽離於脈絡之外的影響，不只在教育，而且對醫療、新聞、商業和政府都產生了深遠的後果。這將影響到現代公民的每一個方面，改變人們思考現 代公民身份、財產、認同甚至愛情的方式。如果我們不認真對待的話，這也許會使我們變得愚蠢，或者有一天我們更可能落入歐威爾所謂的「大騙局」。