Stop Being a Pleaser

Stop Being a Pleaser by HENRY J.M. NOUWEN

You have to let your father and father figures go. You must stop seeing yourself through their eyes and trying to make them proud of you.

For as long as you can remember, you have been a pleaser, depending on others to give you an identity. You need not look at that only in a negative way. You wanted t0 give your heart to others, and you did so quickly and easily. But now you are being asked to let go of all these self-made props and trust that God is enough for you. You must stop being a pleaser and reclaim your identity as a free self.

在任何階段，我們多會找一些"模範"當作成長階段的榜樣，這些模範會常常掛在我們的嘴邊，這些多半是我們熟悉、景仰的師長，或者是親近而且比較具領導氣質的同儕朋友。我們樂於去學習甚至是模仿其模式及風格。大部分的我們可以從這中學習到我們該成長的部分，但經歷某段學習的過程後，還是必須很快地走出屬於自己的風格與自信，不然就陷入英雄崇拜而缺乏個人思考的窘境。

身為一個部門的主管，越來越多的事務、專案以及不得不成功的權責壓力接踵而來，我面對的是越來越多的老闆(或者，越來越多人說他算是我老闆?!)，但相反的，我越來越堅信我面對的是對自我的真實而負責，絕不是單純只是滿足"人"的要求。

「人在最小的事上忠心，在大事上也忠心；在最小的事上不義，在大事上也不義。」路加福音16章10節