Set Boundaries to Your Love

Set Boundaries to Your Love by HENRY J.M. NOUWEN

When people show you their boundaries ('I cant do this for you'), you fed rejected. You cannot accept the fact that others are unable to do for you all that you expect from them. You desire boundless love, boundless care, boundless giving.

Part of your struggle is to set boundaries to your own love - something you have never done. You give whatever people ask of you, and when they ask for more, you give more, until you find yourself exhausted, used, and manipulated. Only when you are able to set your own boundaries will you be able to acknowledge, respect, and even be grateful for the boundaries of others.

In the presence of the people you love, your needs grow and grow, until those people are so overwhelmed by your needs that they are practically forced to leave you for their own survival.

The great task is to claim yourself for yourself, so that you can contain your needs within the boundaries of your self and hold them in the presence of those you love. True mutuality in love requires people who possess themselves and who can give to each other while holding on to their own identities. So, in order both to give more effectively and to be more self-contained with your needs, you must learn to set boundaries to your love.

畫下界線的確很重要，沒有界線如同沒有標準。因為各種原因，最近談了幾個員工離職案例，這是在所有的公司工作中，所有人最不喜歡的任務之一。但是，工作的本質就是希望透過員工發揮才能來換取團隊最大的利益，進而得到生活所需的報酬，如果管理者不能堅守標準地要求員工發揮應有的效率或才能，那也對已經在要求水準上的員工就太不公平了!

愛當然也需要界線，因為愛也是有標準。所以，80,90年後獨生長大的小弟弟妹妹們，真正的愛不是每個人都可以接受的，當你有標準地被要求與對待時。