While you may feel physically and mentally strong, you still experience a forceful undercurrent of anguish. You sleep well, you work well, but there are few waking moments when you do not feel that throbbing pain in your heart that makes everything seem up in the air. You know that you are progressing, but you can't understand why this anguish keeps pervading everything you think, say, or do. There is still a deep, unresolved pain, but you cannot take it away yourself. It exists far deeper than you can reach.
Be patient and trust. You have to move gradually deeper into your heart. There is a place far down that is like a turbulent river, and that place frightens you. But do not fear. One day it will be quiet and peaceful.
You have to keep moving, as you are doing. Live a faithful, disciplined life, a life that gives you a sense of inner strength, a life in which you can receive more and more of the love that comes to you. Wherever there is real love for you, take it and be strengthened by it. As your body, heart, and mind come to know that you are loved, your weakest part will feel attracted to that love. What has remained separated and unreachable will let itself be drawn into the love you have been able to receive. One day you will discover that your anguish is gone. It will leave you because your weakest self let itself be embraced by your love.
You are not yet there, but you are moving fast. There will be a bit more pain and struggle. You have to dare to live through it. Keep walking straight. Acknowledge your anguish, but do not let it pull you out of yourself. Hold on to your chosen direction, your discipline, your prayer, your work, your guides, and trust that one day love will have conquered enough of you that even the most fearful part will allow love to cast out all fear.
You continue struggling to see your own truth. When people who know your heart well and love you dearly say that you are a child of God, that God has entered deeply into your being, and that you are offering much of God to others, you hear these statements as pep talks. You don't believe that these people are really seeing what they are saying.
You have to start seeing yourself as your truthful friends see you. As long as you remain blind to your own truth, you keep putting yourself down and referring to everyone else as better, holier, and more loved than you are. You look up to everyone in whom you see goodness, beauty, and love because you do not see any of these qualities in yourself. As a result, you begin leaning on others without realizing that you have everything you need to stand on your own feet.
You cannot force things, however. You cannot make yourself see what others see. You cannot fully claim yourself when parts of you are still wayward. You have to acknowledge where you are and affirm that place. You have to be willing to live your loneliness, your incompleteness, your lack of total incarnation fearlessly, and trust that God will give you the people to keep showing you the truth of who you are.
看不到別人比較可怕，還是看不透別人比較可怕?Your love, insofar as it is from God, is permanent. You can claim the permanence of your love as a gift from God. And you can give that permanent love to others. When others stop loving you, you do not have to stop loving them. On a human level, changes might be necessary, but on the level of the divine, you can remain faithful to your love.
One day you will be free to give gratuitous love, a love that does not ask for anything in return. One day also you will be free to receive gratuitous love. Often love is offered to you, but you do not recognize it. You discard it because you are fixed on receiving it from the same person to whom you gave it.
The great paradox of love is that precisely when you have claimed yourself as God's beloved child, have set boundaries to your love, and thus contained your needs, you begin to grow into the freedom to give gratuitously.
如果有一天，你懂得自在地付出無私的愛，完全不求回報；那你也可以自在地接受那無私的愛，其實我們一直收到這樣的愛，只是我們不懂很簡單的答案原來就在我們身邊。
中國的古人早該說「已若所欲，多施於人」!
Set Boundaries to Your Love by HENRY J.M. NOUWEN
When people show you their boundaries ('I cant do this for you'), you fed rejected. You cannot accept the fact that others are unable to do for you all that you expect from them. You desire boundless love, boundless care, boundless giving.
Part of your struggle is to set boundaries to your own love - something you have never done. You give whatever people ask of you, and when they ask for more, you give more, until you find yourself exhausted, used, and manipulated. Only when you are able to set your own boundaries will you be able to acknowledge, respect, and even be grateful for the boundaries of others.
In the presence of the people you love, your needs grow and grow, until those people are so overwhelmed by your needs that they are practically forced to leave you for their own survival.
The great task is to claim yourself for yourself, so that you can contain your needs within the boundaries of your self and hold them in the presence of those you love. True mutuality in love requires people who possess themselves and who can give to each other while holding on to their own identities. So, in order both to give more effectively and to be more self-contained with your needs, you must learn to set boundaries to your love.
畫下界線的確很重要，沒有界線如同沒有標準。因為各種原因，最近談了幾個員工離職案例，這是在所有的公司工作中，所有人最不喜歡的任務之一。但是，工作的本質就是希望透過員工發揮才能來換取團隊最大的利益，進而得到生活所需的報酬，如果管理者不能堅守標準地要求員工發揮應有的效率或才能，那也對已經在要求水準上的員工就太不公平了!
愛當然也需要界線，因為愛也是有標準。所以，80,90年後獨生長大的小弟弟妹妹們，真正的愛不是每個人都可以接受的，當你有標準地被要求與對待時。
2009/01/29 13:15記者陳奕廷／綜合報導
「世 事洞察皆學問、人情練達即文章」，這是中國清朝名著紅樓夢的一段話，卻是放在何時何處皆準的。在南京江蘇弘業國際集團期貨員，下班在電梯遇到集團大老闆， 因為不認得他，大老闆跟他打招呼，他不但沒回應，還瞄了一下，結果被老闆以「思維有問題」為由，開除了他，讓他做到今年二月底。
小張是南京人，今年24歲，南京財經大學本科畢業。去年11月10日進入中華路弘業大廈期貨公司就職，很快與公司簽了半年期的合同。他很開心，這年頭找個飯碗不容易，因此工作十分賣力。
去年12月中旬的一個周五，加了一會兒班，小張離開辦公室已是晚上7點多了。大廈電梯載著他開到12樓時，進來一位老人，面相和藹。小張不認識，但是老人卻先開口說「小夥子，你是哪個公司的？」，小張沒有搭裡，還瞟了對方一眼，沒開口。
老人有點不悅的問「你是哪個公司的？告訴我。」，小張才回答說「期貨公司的，有啥事情嗎？」
也就是這段對話，回到家後，小張接到經理的電話，才知道那是老人是他「領導的領導」，他心中非常忐忑。後來雖然經理去周旋，但是還是被罵得臭頭，最後，小張被下通牒，「你在公司沒發展空間了，會很被動。你考慮考慮，打個辭職報告，可以不來上班了，工資結算到2月份。」
結果，小張的父親還去找董事長道歉，老董回想起來還是很生氣，老董說：「我看他下班這麼晚，主動與他打招呼，本想表揚他幾句，沒想到他卻向我瞪眼睛。」，老董模仿起來，又說「問他話也不搭理。他的思維不正常，期貨行業對員工素質要求很高，他不適宜做期貨」。
所以，如果自己不懂得與人相處，老爸請出來去跟老董道歉，也是沒用，而小張今年不但過年不好過，過完年除了得要找工作外，也得學學自己如何與人應對進退。
